


how can you be so okay?

by feelingsimple



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Based on Drivers License, Bittersweet Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Song fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feelingsimple/pseuds/feelingsimple
Summary: “You love him, don’t you?”George knows who ‘him’ is, he knows immediately. It’s Dream, who else could it be. They’re all best friends, they know each other inside and out. The room falls frigid, the patter of rain only growing heavier against the window.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	how can you be so okay?

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo!! 
> 
> This is actually really sad and I recommend listening to the song while reading. This is set in a college verse type thing and such. 
> 
> Please enjoy! Dont sent or mention to cc’s. :)
> 
> CW alcohol!

“Slow down, George,” Dream laughs, “We’re in no rush at all.”

“Yeah, but you speed  _ all _ the time,” George fires back, “What’s different about me?” 

“I dunno, you don’t even have your license yet it’s riskier,” Dream replies, “Besides, let’s let these moments last, you know, together?”

George flushes, but rolls his eyes and slows down, “You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot,” Dream teases.

_ Yeah, you are my idiot,  _ George thinks to himself.

“Don’t say things like that!” George says, “Stop flirting with me. I’m driving,  _ idiot. _ ”

Dream exasperatedly whines and leans back against the window, “Just be cautious.” 

George smiles and nods, then begins to go back to a normal speed. 

Calm, George thinks, it’s not like this wasn’t normal for him, or for Dream to not just flirt with anyone. He does it all the time. Yet George found himself suffocated somehow by the bittersweetness of Dream’s encouraging voice. Constantly praising him, encouraging him, and being there for him. 

Shaking any further thoughts, George finally pulls into the driveway of Dream’s house and sighs in relief, “That was exhausting.”

“You’re so tense when you’re driving, just relax yourself and don’t think too much, pay attention to those around you,” Dream says, sitting up, “I was nervous too, but driving isn’t scary.” 

George looks at him and nods, “Right, you’re right, I take my drivers test soon and can’t be so worried about things going wrong.”

“That’s the spirit!” Dream leans over and rubs George’s head, “Hey, Sapnap’s making dinner tonight let’s go make sure he’s not gonna burn anything down.”

——

George knows it’s dumb, this little thing he and Dream have going on. The sneaking around, the touches, the soft looks from one to the other. Dream has had a softer voice around him, somehow. He speaks sweeter and holds him longer in hugs than the others. 

He knows it’s not good, he knows that it won’t last but he pursues. George ignores the flags that it’s all too risky to ever be with someone like Dream. 

In no way was Dream a bad person, but he was well liked by many people on the campus. They talked about his high grades, his prettiness, and his personality. They were all about him. George thinks to himself that he would never compare to someone like Dream even if he wanted. 

George was never a very self conscious person, he had a lot of confidence in many things. But around Dream his thoughts swarmed that he could be with someone better, someone who was made to be with him.

“What’re you thinking about?” Dream asks, “Hopefully about your drivers test.”

George only laughs, “Oh please, that’s all that could ever be on my mind. It’s in a couple months and I feel I’m losing my mind.”

“You’ll do just fine, I mean I’m the one teaching you,” Dream smiled with that same cocky smile he’s always had when he thinks he’s being smart.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, I’ve driven with Sapnap and such, too,” George scoffs, “You're in over your head. I’ve got class, see you!” he walks away from the parking lot and Dream calls out to him.

“But I’m the best teacher!” 

George rolls his eyes,  _ to me you're the best at anything.  _

——

A month has passed, Dream has kissed him, held his hand, they’ve gotten lost in each other’s eyes. It’s okay, George wants to think it is. He doesn’t know if Dream truly means it or if it’s just one of those things. A fluke, a passing thing, anything of the sort.

With Dream he’s insecure. He’s scared that nothing will last and that it’ll all fall apart in one way or another. On top of it all, he doesn’t want to feel this way. Dream makes him feel a million things and one of those things is the feeling of being home. 

It’s raining, the rain reminds him of home, his mom, his family. He thinks of them with a heavy heart, probably missing him as well. He recalls all the moments spent with his family in the rain, all the car rides, and all of the times when he was younger and would play in the backyard. England is where his family is, and that’s where he feels his heart should go. But his friends here are what holds him down, keeps him in tact with the reality around him. 

As he stares through the glass with sad eyes, he feels Sapnap’s presence come into his room. 

“Hey,” he says, “Are you okay?” 

George looks back at him and nods slightly strained, “Yeah, just thinking of home. I miss my family.”

Sapnap sits behind him on the bed, “You know they miss you too.”

“I wish I could see them again,” George says, “Facetime isn’t the same. I miss my mom's hugs and my dad’s jokes, it feels wrong being away for so long.”

“It’ll be like that,” Sapnap pats George’s shoulder, “But hey man, you’ve got the summer.”

“Right,” George nods, “Besides that, what did you need? Need help coding something?”

Sapnap laughs, but shakes his head no, “I actually came to just ask you something.” 

“What’s that?” 

“You love him, don’t you?”

George knows who ‘ _ him’  _ is, he knows immediately. It’s Dream, who else could it be. They’re all best friends, they know each other inside and out. The room falls frigid, the patter of rain only growing heavier against the window.

“Yeah, I do love him,” George says, “But he doesn’t love me.”

——

They’ve fallen apart somehow, and George feels it when they enter the party. There’s people everywhere and George can’t help but feel he doesn’t belong. There’s too much going on and so many people, he loses sight of Dream and Sapnap at the same time. And now he’s alone, but he guesses it’s for the best.

A guy bumps into him, “Oh, sorry my bad man,” he apologizes, “Hey you’re Dream’s friend right? George?”

George nods, “Yeah, that’s me, do I know you?” 

“Probably not, but I’m Cody,” he says, “Nice to meet you.” 

“You as well,” George holds out his hand and Cody gladly takes it.

“Want a drink?” Cody offers, “Although you don’t really seem like the type to drink.”

Not really, George thinks, but a friend is a friend, so George shrugs, “No it’s cool, let’s go.”

Cody is nice, he chills with him while George can’t find either of his closest friends. He has a few drinks and it’s already enough to infest his system. George knew he was a lightweight, but it wasn’t important. It was a party and he didn’t really drink as much because he never had the time. Plus he was beginning to feel anxious with the sudden wave of what being ‘drunk’ was doing to him. 

“I’m gonna use the bathroom,” George says suddenly, he placed his drink down and pushed past all the drunk people and shoved his way up the stairs of the frat. George didn’t really have to use the bathroom, but he guessed getting drunk just made his senses spike his anxiety. He pushes open a random door and freezes when he sees Dream with a blonde girl he doesn’t know. 

He feels sick, and everything hurts. Dream pulls away from the girl and his eyes widen. George knows they weren’t official, but it still hurt seeing the guy he was made to fall in love with be with someone that wasn’t him. George stepped away and Dream quickly got up to grab his wrist.

“George, I’m sorry,” Dream tries, and George tries to pull his wrist away but Dream tugs him back, “Are you drunk?” he says, he looks at George up and down.

“What does it matter that you’re sorry?” George said, “You could’ve just said you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” 

Dream squints his eyes, “What? George we weren’t dating, we were barely anything,” he says, “You agreed that it was nothing. Why are  _ you _ getting mad at me?”

“You’re ridiculous,” George says, “You— You didn’t even mention it, you said it would end when we both agreed.”

“Okay, I want it to end, George, it’s time we move past whatever we had,” Dream responds, “So don’t be stupid and get hurt over something that was going to end in the first place.”

The ground shatters, he feels tears but holds them back as much as he can, “You’re, you’re such an asshole Dream.”

“George, what’s wrong? I’ll ask again, are you drunk?” Dream asks, “You know you’re weak with alcohol so why would you get yourself drunk?” Dream ignores George’s insult, he tugs George closer to him to look him over.

Their height difference is quite large, so Dream has to lean down to look him over, his hand still wrapped around his wrist tightly, “Who got you to drink? And why are you drinking a lot, I want to know.” 

“What does,” George begins to say, “What does it matter to  _ you. _ ” He yanks his arm free and takes off down the steps of the house, and Dream is hot on his tail.

“George, wait!” he calls, “George, just stop, tell me what’s wrong and stop being a fucking baby about everything!”

George turns around and grabs a college kids drink from their hand. He looks up at Dream in the eyes and splashes the drink onto him, “Fuck. You.” He finally breaks his way into the outside, panting as he covers his faces with his hands to attempt to hide his tears.

He feels broken, he knows that they weren’t going to last but all the signs pointed otherwise. George felt as if he could breathe, it all hurt too much to handle. He wants to go home, he wants to just leave and get back into the comfort of his mother’s embrace. It was a mistake coming to college in the US.

The world is against him, it slowly sprinkles onto his clothes and then moves into a downpour. George drops his hands to his side and begins to walk away. He has to get away from here, it hurts too much. 

When he makes it far enough, he breaks down and curls into a ball on the street corner. He’s alone, cold, and everything in him is screaming at him that he knew nothing would turn out the way he wanted it too. He ignores the ringing of his phone and allows himself to get drenched under the pouring rain. 

“I loved you,” George said, “Why couldn’t you love me back?”

Cars drive by, the stop lights change from green to red, the world is in slow motion the longer he stays there. His friends are probably worried, but George in that moment can’t find himself to care.

A car slows down and comes to a stop. George looks up and it’s Sapnap, he opens the car door and gets out. Holding open his arms, George takes it upon himself to get up and just accept the warmth of his best friend. 

He collapses and Sapnap slowly brings them down, he holds him tight. Sapnap rests his chin on his shoulder, “You know, sometimes it’ll hurt. But you know what? In the end, pain will only be temporary and you’ll be okay.”

George stays silent for a while, “I just feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid for soemthing you can’t prevent,” Sapnap says, “Dream is the idiot here, he’s missing someone that’s been right in front of him this whole time.”

“You’re just saying that,” George says, “It’s fine. Dream was bound to move on, he doesn’t really like commitment anyways.”

Sapnap doesn’t reply, just helping George into the car and then starting their way back to the apartment. He still feels drunk, his mind is heavy and no amount of alcohol would be able to numb it. George knew from the beginning it was dumb to ever love someone like Dream.

But Dream wasn’t a bad person, he was everything good in life. He was perfect, perfect in every way. George doesn’t even know where Dream went, who he’s coming home with or if he’s coming home. His mind is infested with the fact that he knows Dream didn’t mean anything that they did. 

The ride home is painfully quiet, and the walk to his room is needles against his feet. He doesn’t care though, he strips of his wet clothes and changes into warmer ones, then drowns himself in his thoughts and bedsheets. 

Love comes in many forms, for George it comes in the form of Dream. It was everything love could ever be to him. Sincerity, compassion, happiness. George was in deep, his heart was broken, but it didn’t deserve to be broken over something that didn’t exist in the first place.

——

George gets his driver's license within the following months. He doesn’t feel any better about the world than he did months ago. He’s glad summer is soon, he can go to England and be with his family. 

It was awkward staying in the same apartment as Dream, and Sapnap had to bear all of the cold glances and the silence at dinner. George felt bad kinda, but he didn’t feel bad for Dream. His mind was heavy whenever he thought of him, he felt so hurt half the time that the thought of talking to him was an overwhelming feeling.

They ignored each other. Dream began dating that stupid blonde girl, the one from the party. She was everything George wasn’t. She was so much prettier and better than he’d ever be. She rode in his passenger seat, she held his hand when they walked to classes together. 

He just wasn’t her, he’d never be her.

George moves out two months after he gets his first car, he gets an apartment to himself. It hurts a lot but he can’t stand another moment with Dream around him, because after everything he still cries himself to sleep over how in love he is with Dream. 

But Dream was nothing but the asshole, he was the one who cut ties without telling him he wanted to. He was so embarrassed. 

So embarrassed to have ever loved someone who didn’t care for him the way he wanted him to. 

Everything was a lie, from the sweet whispers to the sessions they’d spend together sleeping in each other’s arms. Dream would tell him that he’s important, that he’s beautiful. But if he was any of that, why couldn’t Dream just love him?

It felt like a trick.

George wasn’t a soft person, he didn’t care much for affection but around Dream it was something he craved. Warm hands on his and soft whispers to his skin, the tingling sensation that was felt after their nights together. It was all coming back to him, the more he thought of it the more it hurt to see Dream with someone else, someone that was everything that he wanted to be. 

He felt used almost, maybe a distraction. A test, anything that he could think of that would push him further into the sinkhole. 

George still drives past Dream and Sapnap’s apartment, wishing he was in there with his best friends. After everything, he still loves Dream. He loves his voice, his touch, his smile, his eyes…. everything about the other man. It’s impossible to rid the thought from his mind of Dream. 

A constant whirlpool of emotions that infests him when he tries to sleep, when he stays on late calls with Sapnap who says that he needs to get over him. Who tells him that there will be other people he can find solace in. 

But being in love with Dream is like standing in the eye of the storm. As everything is destroyed around him, as the wind pulls away and destroys everything in its path, George thinks of Dream as someone who is the center. Where everything is destroyed but it’s quiet. 

——

The week of finals comes along and George leaves for England soon. He doesn’t tell Dream, only Sapnap knows. He can’t risk the break of his heart seeing Dream before he goes, because he knows he’d drop everything and stay if Dream asked him to.

He’s stopped trying to get over Dream, he lets his love fester. Despite not speaking to him for so long, he sees the Instagram posts and the two on campus laughing alongside each other, he feels his heartache for the touch once more.

In an attempt one night for silence, just one more time he drives far out. He thinks of Dream and all the times he was critiqued or cheered on when driving when the other man was teaching him. George stops at a red light, his mind falls into when Dream had given him advice on how to not break so roughly when he was first beginning. 

The red lights, the stop signs, everything crumbles. Dreams stupid white car that he drives everywhere. His stupid smile when he’d speed down empty roads. 

How could he ever love someone else when Dream had been the center of his universe for so long? 

George doesn’t know how Dream could leave him so quickly. With no thought, no agreement. Just left to be alone after he was dragged along and made to feel wanted by someone who never loved him or had the decency to like him in that way, even for a while. He doesn’t know what he doesn’t have that the blonde girl does, every moment he thinks of her he feels resentment.

She was everything perfect, and so was Dream. It was a match that was made to be. George wasn’t amazing, he had many flaws. He wasn’t always really nice, but he wasn’t ever trying to show malice or truly be rude. He didn’t talk to anyone outside of Dream and Sapnap, and that one boy he met ages ago at the party. But he hasn’t seen him since either. 

He pauses on the backroad when he reaches it, he watches the rain slide down on the windshield, as if the sky was crying for him.

George gets out and looks up and down the road, no cars in sight. He allows the rain to soak him, then lays on the faded yellow lines and looks up to the sky. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t able to get himself to cry at this point, but it hurt.

The longer he laid there the more his thoughts prevailed to just leaving immediately after finals instead of in the summer. It’d be so simple, to just escape. 

He shivers at the cold wind of spring. It’s nearing midnight and he’s not home, he’s not calling Sapnap, who must be tired of hearing him talk about Dream. Everything was about him, but it was all sad and broken. 

There’s so much he can’t do without thinking of Dream, because he and Dream had done so much together. He made it so easy to fall in love. 

Dream was easy to fall in love with.

Now he can’t look at his reflection without thinking of Dream, drive past the places they would go, and no longer can drive past the old apartment he shared with his friends. Because it hurts.

It hurts the most when you love someone you can’t have. 

He ignores his phone's constant buzzing, most likely Sapnap. 

George just really needs the night to himself, one last night to wallow in his misery in the pouring rain like he always does. 

——

His bags are all set, he’s loading his car and he has to drive to Sapnap’s to see him before he goes. George cautiously walks up to the front door and knocks. It takes a few minutes but Sapnap opens it, he looks sad.

“Come here, George,” Sapnap says, “I know I’m mean to you a lot but I’m really gonna miss you, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss how much of a loser you are,” George teases, “But really, thanks for everything. You’re important to me.”

He and Sapnap talk about his flight for a bit, going down a checklist of things he had to bring, when footsteps sound and Dream appears behind Sapnap.

“George,” Dream breathes out, “Where are you going?”

“Home,” George responds, he looks down, “I’m moving back to England.”

“For good?” Dream says, “Why didn’t you say anything about this to me?”

“Would you care?” George asks, “Or did we have to mutually agree on this, then you decide that you only get a say?”

Dream flinches, “George, listen, it’s not like that anymore. Are you still hung up on it?”

George looks at him, his gaze piercing through Dream’s own eyes, he wants to scoff and yell at Dream for how much hurt he had endured, but bites his tongue, instead deciding on just saying, “Yeah. I am, it really hurt that you seemed to just not care at all. And I know it was going to end soon, but you didn’t have to do it like that.”

The taller man taps Sapnap’s shoulder and nods as if to say to leave them alone, and George watches Sapnap retreat. 

“George, I’m sorry, I really am,” Dream says quietly, “There was just this girl, I fell in love with her. I couldn’t stop thinking of her and everything about her. So at the party I found her, it went a little further and that’s when you found us.”

“You love her?” George asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you.” 

“Don’t you think you would’ve hurt me regardless?” George feels himself wanting to cry, but bites his tongue and looks up at Dream, “Because you know Dream, we were fine. We wanted each other in all those moments we shared, but it came down so fast.”

“George, we agreed on keeping things low, just to try things out and not have any strings attached,” Dream says, “We  _ both  _ agreed on it.”

“But,” George just has to say it, he just needs to tell Dream now rather than later, “I fell in love.”

Dream tenses at the words, he hesitantly puts a hand on George’s shoulder, “You loved me?”

“I still love you.” 

“Oh,” Dream says softly, “George, I’m sorry. I didn’t know and… I can’t just say I loved you, but I never was in love, I liked you but it was never… love.”

_ It was never love. _

“I know, but I kept going because I just wanted to be with you as much as possible, and after the party it was overwhelming,” George said, “So I’m leaving, I need to get out. Free my mind.”

“I’m sorry,” Dream says, “Before you go, can I hug you one more time?”

George is hesitant, but nods. Dream immediately wraps his arms around George’s shoulders and rests his chin atop George’s head, sighing out at the touch. It’s so warm, his heart races the moment Dream hugs him a little tighter. He warily wraps his arms around Dream’s torso. 

It was all he wanted. But it hurt him so much.

They release each other, and George finally says goodbye to Sapnap one last time, then he’s off. 

The airport is only a few minutes away, and he gets there early. He arrives early.

It hurts so much. He can still feel Dream touch linger on his skin. In a way it burns him.

When his flight is called, he doesn’t look back. Because all he needs right now is to go home, and just be calm once more.

Dream didn’t ever love him, he didn’t feel the same as him. He had to accept that and attempt to move on, it was even more hurtful that Dream had loved someone else while still being and doing things with him, but George tried to push those thoughts from his mind.

_ He just can’t imagine how Dream seems so okay with him gone. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hehehe heartbreaking yes.... I hope you all enjoyed comments and kudos appreciated! This was really sad to write


End file.
